Being Resilient

Taranaki, New Zealand

I didn’t sign up to be.

Resilience is a funny thing. Over the years, people have said to me: “you are so resilient.”

And I always thought to myself: “I didn’t sign up to be.”

The thing with resilience is that sometimes you have to go through hell and back to get it. And even then, you still might not.

It’s almost a choice.

A choice not to let life break you.

A choice to keep going, even when everything in you says you can’t.

A choice to rise above the obstacles that land in your path.

Because if you don’t make that choice — if you let sorrow, misery, or failure consume you — it can take everything you have just to get back on track.

How Resilience Is Commonly Understood

General Definition

• The capacity to bounce back from difficulties, setbacks, or trauma without being permanently held back.

• Not about avoiding challenges, but about how you respond, adapt, and grow through them.

Psychology

• The process of coping with stress and hardship while maintaining or regaining mental health and wellbeing.

• Linked to traits like optimism, self-regulation, problem-solving, and seeking support.

Wider Use

• In communities or systems, resilience means withstanding and adapting to disruption — social, environmental, or economic — and continuing to function.

  
  

Important Note

Resilience isn’t about being “tough” all the time or never struggling. It’s about having inner and outer resources — perspective, skills, and a strong mindset — that help you keep moving forward even when life knocks you down.

My Curiosity About Resilience

I’ve always wondered: what makes one person adapt and thrive while another can’t?

Two siblings can share the same genetics, upbringing, even similar experiences — yet one rises above while the other stays stuck. Why?

Is it because, in the short term, it feels easier not to be resilient? To stay in the comfort of what’s familiar? To keep repeating learned responses passed down by elders, even if they no longer serve?

Psychology says resilience is a combination of factors — genetics, environment, skills, and learned behaviours. And that’s true. But what if it’s also something else?

What If Resilience Is a Choice?

What if resilience isn’t just influenced by circumstance — but by decision?

What if we decide to face what life throws at us?

What if we choose ourselves — and flourish once the chaos subsides?

Choosing to heal.

Choosing to grow.

Choosing to keep moving forward.

Of course, context matters. Trauma takes time. Healing takes work. But making the choice to rise — to reach for tools, support, and solutions — that’s the turning point.

Today, we have access to resources everywhere we look. And when no ready solution exists, resilience means digging deep and refusing to give up.

My Choice

When I think about it, I am resilient — and I never signed up to be.

But a long time ago, I made a choice:

To keep going.

To heal.

To grow.

To move forward with love and light.

I made a promise to myself, to my girls, and to the generations still to come:

That I wouldn’t let life make me hard or uncaring.

That when I stumbled, I’d always find my way back on track.

I made that choice.

If this resonated with you, I’d love for you to take the next step:

• Grab a copy of my AIN Framework Workbook — real tools to help you rise, reset, and rebuild on your terms.

• Or subscribe here on Untamed Clarity to get more raw reflections and unapologetic truths straight to your inbox.

Because resilience isn’t about going it alone — it’s about choosing your way forward, again and again.